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| | GROWN UPS
Self-esteem
is not just a concept
Judith Lawrenson
MA,Ed.
School has started
with a bang, hasn’t it? It seems summers just get shorter and shorter. By
now routines should be getting established and priorities set for study times,
extra events, lessons, and all of the other things that crowd our days as we
try to keep a calm eye on family life. We should also be aware by now of any
trouble spots that children may be facing. Usually, I write about academic
topics, but recently I have been reading articles about children who are
victims and face this issue as a part of their daily time at school.
I do not know why
children are sometimes cruel to each other, but I do know that it is a fact. I
also cannot tell you why one child becomes singled out to be the outsider-the
one not invited to the party or the one who is ridiculed for appearance or
behavior. There seems to be some need for this type of group dynamic among
children of all ages. I see it on the playgrounds in pre-school just as
regularly as I see it in Jr. High School. So, how do you know if your child is
in this situation? Equally important for you as a parent is knowing whether
your child is the one of the group who may be on the other end of this peer
pattern
Observation and
conversation are the two keys to determine social things that may be a part of
the school day for your child. We all like to say that things like this are
not important. We tell our children they should not be afraid to be different.
We say that our children should show character. We encourage them to not
"follow the crowd." But, I sometimes think we have forgotten just
how it feels to be left out. We do not remember the hurt when approaching a
group and shoulders are turned inward and no one opens the circle to let in
that other child. By the same token, we honestly do not want our children to
be the ones who hurt or bully others. That also is not good for for their
mental health or self-esteem.
Self esteem has been
so overused regarding socialization among children that we seldom even say it
without a bit of a smile. I wish this were not the case. Both victims and
those who exploit and hurt other children have needs that parents should keep
in mind as we talk and listen to what happens in the school day. Do not be
afraid to ask how things are going. Ask who said what to whom. Yes, even check
your child for bruises or other marks that may indicate an injury. If you are
the least bit suspicious, feel free to contact your child’s teacher or a
school administrator. Also, do not be afraid to change classrooms or even
schools. I cannot stress enough how serious this situation may be.
I know there are many
things to be aware of and sometimes something will fall through the cracks,
but please do keep an eye and an ear our for the totality of your child’s
day at school.
Judith Lawrenson. MA, Ed.
Comments to Judith at JLResource@AOL.com,
or Post on our Bulletin Board
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